Chronicling - and Creating - Change: Mika Brzezinski and Huma Abedin Mika Brzezinski and Huma Abedin advise women to own their worth, unapologetically.
By Tamara Pupic
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It is hard to imagine that Mika Brzezinski, a seasoned journalist who became a household name as a "Ground Zero" reporter during the September 11, 2001, terror attacks in New York City, or who has interviewed prominent US politicians as a co-host of the MSNBC television show Morning Joe, once struggled with self-confidence. "My parents were very supportive, and yet I found myself at one point in my career where I was having trouble expressing my value," Brzezinski tells me in Abu Dhabi in early March. "I thought, 'My goodness, if I struggle, it must not just be me.' I looked around and I noticed it was a universal problem. I had problems negotiating my own contracts, problems advocating for myself at work, and I realized it actually poured over even into my life. Getting value back in a relationship is something women should expect and many of us don't. We apologize our way into relationships or apologize our way into negotiations."
In 2011, Brzezinski wrote the bestseller book "Know Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You're Worth," giving candid advice based on her own experiences of being underpaid. Then, in 2015, she launched the "Know Your Value movement" to help women recognize their personal and professional values and advance in their careers. Partnering with Forbes in 2020 led her to create its first-ever 50 over 50 list, celebrating 50 women who have achieved extraordinary success later in life, and eventually to hold annual women's empowerment events in the UAE capital of Abu Dhabi. "You [as a woman] need to know your value and communicate it effectively. That's the bottom line," Brzezinski points out. "We can control how we communicate effectively, but many women leave that to others to do for them. Or they think, 'Well, this is the way I do it.' No. Practice. Develop a voice. Look at how you look when you're talking. Look at how you intonate when you're speaking. What's the tempo of your voice? How can you use your voice and your words more effectively? What about eye contact? All these things actually seem so simple, but for some women, they're really hard, and I love sharing with women tangible advice that they can take home and use the next day because it is simple. But somebody sometimes needs to give you the permission."
Sitting with us is Huma Abedin, the longtime aide to former US Secretary of State Hilary Clinton, and the author of "Both/And: A Life in Many Worlds," a memoir that chronicled her life from being raised in an Indian-Pakistani household in both Saudi Arabia and the US where she later on built a prominent career in public service and national politics. Her story of personal empowerment echoes the same sentiments. "Even though I was surrounded for years by other women who supported me, lifted me up, I was very used to being behind the scenes and doing things very quietly," Abedin says. "When I was growing up in politics, we would tell jokes about when we would be promoting men and say, 'You're going to be hired to be a speech writer. You're very good.' The man would respond and say, 'Great. I want the job.' You'd go to a woman and say, 'I want to promote you and make you speech writer.' The woman would say, 'Well, I'm not really sure if I'm ready.' So I really give credit to the woman sitting next to me for forcing us to say the things that men just say automatically and naturally, and that is actually unnatural for many ofustobeforcedtodo something we're not sure we'll be good at."
Brzezinski points out to one particular issue that women have been facing for far too long - a belief that talking about money - negotiating a salary or asking for a raise - is taboo. "We are great negotiating for our partners, our husbands, our kids. My gosh, we're ferocious. For our friends, we are right there," she explains. "But all of a sudden, if it's about money or about what we need in a relationship for ourselves, we lose our voice, we self-deprecate, we apologize our way into the conversation, and we depreciate in real time. That's the part that I know needs to be turned around. Nobody's going to do it for you."
To the next generation of women seeking to excel in life and career, Brzezinski advises patience. "I think there's no clock anymore. It all used to be around the biological clock, but now science and acceptance allows you to reach your dreams in different ways, if need be," she explains. "But also the fact that we're taking good care of ourselves, healthcare has improved, we're living longer, and we are able to contribute for a much longer time. In fact, you could tell the younger women, relax, take your time, do your learning, raise your family. All these things are going to make you more valuable later on." And to the over 50, "We're the most desirable hire out there," she concludes. "We are completely unencumbered. We're really confident. I'll just say that."